Rule #1: Don't adopt out of birth order.
We were warned that adopting a child who is older than any children already in the home could cause unnecessary difficulties with attachment and jealousy. Children are more accepting of a new sibling if they join the family as the youngest child. Made perfect sense. Absolutely.
Problem was- God placed a starving 4 year old boy in front of us and said "go".
Rule #2: Don't adopt more than one child at a time. This one is a no brainer. Obviously, if you are going to adopt (especially if you are already breaking rule #1) you would have to be a fool to bring ANOTHER child into the mess you are creating for yourself. We agreed. Wholeheartedly.
Problem was- God placed another boy in front of us, one whose needs were largely unknown, and said "go to him also".
Rule #3: Don't create artificial "twins". Meaning, do not adopt children who are the same age as other children already in the home. Children need some way to maintain individuality (particularly when you are already breaking rules #1 AND 2). Totally reasonable. Completely rational.
Problem was- God either overlooked that detail or somehow thought it didn't matter when he placed both boys in front of us, at the same ages as two of our other children, and said "go anyway".
Rule #4: Don't adopt within a year of a new birth. Adoption is hard. New babies are hard. During the transition of adoption (especially when you are already breaking rules #1, 2 AND 3!!!) the last thing any reasonable person would do is bring a newborn into the mix. Of course. So obvious. That would be pure insanity.
Problem was- God laughed and said "hold my staff."
It seemed almost as if God operated under a completely different set of rules.
And do you know what happened?
And we were perfectly ruined in every wonderful way.
Who are we to say no when He says "go"?
Who are we to tell our creator that our wisdom is greater than His?
Will He not provide where He leads?